Friday, October 8, 2010

Bedtime Stories

Being a newlywed means learning to share a bed with someone.  I have been blessed to get the chance to share a bed with a very active sleeper.  Here's what I get most nights.

-Rolling, lots and lots of rolling.  Usually, it's rolling on top of me and squishing me or making it so I have about a foot of bed space to sleep on.  I've learned to just shove him the other direction.

-Sleep swearing.  This is what I usually hear, "*mumble* MOTHER F*****!! *mumble*"  This has happened twice now in 3 weeks.  Each time its full blown yelling but only when he swears.  Everything else he says is quiet and hard to understand except the swear word.  It usually wakes me up and I just laugh.

-Blanket stealing.  When he rolls, he steals.  I've found myself plenty of times pulling back on the blanket which usually seems to work.  I wonder if I'd find him in a blanket burrito if he slept by himself for a night.

I hope that I can record him swearing sometime but its usually pretty random.  It's so funny.

Shower Stories

Being a newlywed has been fun.  My husband and I have a great time together, including finding new and unique ways to torture each other.  Here are my shower stories.

Sunday- I was taking a shower in between conference sessions.  My husband was out in the back yard playing with the dog.  A few minutes into the shower, my husband puts his hand through the window that is right above the shower and grabs me.  I of course jump and scream.  This isn't the first time he's done this.  He'll usually come in quietly, stares at me, and waits for me to turn around and see him.  It always scares me.  I guess he decided to be unique this day.  I suddenly feel the water pressure cut in half, like as if someone flushed the toilet.  I look out the window to find my husband washing his arms off with the hose.  I turn back to my shower.  Next thing I know, he comes up to the open window and starts spraying the hose water on me.  It is freezing cold and I scream again.  He laughs, runs away, and turns off the hose.  I end up finishing my shower holding the detachable shower head, ready to spray him if he comes to the window again.

Wednesday- I'm taking a shower in between jobs.  My husband is outside again with the dog.  He comes up to the window and we start chatting.  I turn around to rinse out my hair and when I turn back, my husband has disappeared.  I turn back to put conditioner in my hair and when I turn around again, there is an old shoe quickly being shoved through the window.  It lands in the shower at my feet.  I briskly picked it up and shoved it back through the window, swearing fake swears the whole time.  My husband starts laughing and I turn, grab the detachable shower head and start spraying it through the window hoping to hit him.  He runs away giggling, pleased that he didn't get wet.

I'm sure there will be more shower adventures soon.  It seems to be his favorite time of the day.  Oh the joys of marriage.